Co-consciousness in MPD

Hi everyone or anyone,
Boy all these messages are from 2006 and 2007. I sure hope some of you come back.

I have such a hard time finding my way around this site. I get somewhere and leave a
message and then can't find my way back. This one seems to work for me.

I am a multiple living in vancouver, b.c. I know there are other out there like me and I
would love to connect with. Working on the co-consciousness, and my worst memory
yet. I've wanted to get here for long, and now I have some resistance.

If there is anyone out there, would love to hear from you!

june&gang

Hello June&Gang.

I am an undiagnosed multiple and I'm so glad to have met someone like me...

I would love to hear about you and what its like for you.

Hi june&gang

Nice to see the site active again. I have DID and I am co-conscious. Working with my one alter on memory work and I am suppose to participate... necessary but very difficult. I can understand your resistance but for me co-consciousness is the only way. I was loosing so much time that it was becoming intolerable. I have a meetup site for DID/MPD....if you put DID/MPD in the search field then you can find it. I would love to chat with you. We could exchange emails there and it would be secure. Or not if you are not comfortable.

insideones

Hello June&Gang.

I am an undiagnosed multiple and I'm so glad to have met someone like me...

I would love to hear about you and what its like for you.

Hey Silent Whispers,

Good name by the way! Actually I am not officially diagnosed either. Growing up I always knew there was something
different about me. Always missing time. Finding things in my drawers that I didn't remember buying, or buying the
same thing over and over again. My wardrobe was from one extreme to the other!
At about 39 was when I really new for sure. I knew I had some dissociation. I had was walking to the bus, and I tripped,
and you know how you try to catch yourself, well I just flew in the air, and hit the pavement with a bang. I put my
arms out in front of me so I wouldn't break my nose, but my head still ground into the pavement. When I got up,
and could see that my head was swelling fast, that was when the girls came out! Three of them, one little one crying
wanting to go home, the other wanting to hide, and the other saying we should just go to work and pretend like
nothing happened! I went into a store to call my partner, as he was not working that day. And while I was waiting
the girls kept screaming. And pretty soon I had everybody starring and whispering. So I just left and walked home.
Going to work an hour later, which was a bad idea, as kids that young just can't do adult work.

I am 51 years old now (god I never thought I would be saying that!!!), I now know I have 12 alters. One I am
trying to communicate more with who has the eating disorder as our weight has gone down again. We are working
things out, but it takes some time, and its hard with all the other things in life you have to do. But we cope!

I did a PTSD group out of VGH last year, which really, really helped me a lot!! I see a great Art Therapist, who's
most of her clients are multiples. Art therapy has helped me the most. I see a shrink about every 3 weeks. He is
out of VGH and they don't really believe in multiples, so we didn't get along at first. But he has become quite
helpful.

I have tried some groups; for sexual abuse etc. BUt got kicked out of most of them. As soon as they found out I
am a multiple, I was told they don't allow multiples, and if I want to stay no one else can come out but me.
So I said goodbye!

So I am babbling on here, please tell me about yourself? When did you know for sure? HOw many alters do you
have?

always,
june&gang

Hi june&gang

Nice to see the site active again. I have DID and I am co-conscious. Working with my one alter on memory work and I am suppose to participate... necessary but very difficult. I can understand your resistance but for me co-consciousness is the only way. I was loosing so much time that it was becoming intolerable. I have a meetup site for DID/MPD....if you put DID/MPD in the search field then you can find it. I would love to chat with you. We could exchange emails there and it would be secure. Or not if you are not comfortable.

insideones

Hi Janet (insideones)

I am so glad you have responded! Ya I know what you mean, co-consciousness is the only way. Since I did that PTSD group
about a year ago at VGH, don't get me wrong; it did help us tremendously! BUt they don't really believe in MPD, so no
one there really knows anything about it. So I had to seek books etc. to be able to work co-consciously while in the group.
Tell me about it! THe time the time missing drives me crazy too!

I will go to your meetup site as I would love to exchange emails.

june&gang
ps I guess I need the country or city
I have a meetup site in vancouver bc canada V5L 1B5

Hi All

I am 49. I have known that I had some "imaginary" feeds since I was about 11. But since he came out and punched a kid that was teasing me and I told my Mom it was Nolan and not me she punished me and so no further discussion was ever mentioned about him or a couple of others.

Things went pretty well. I spent much of my life in a state of dissociation but was unaware as one of my alters is very functional....I believe she married my hubby. Over 10 years ago I got ill and that is when things start to go south. I was loosing time and now aware that something wasn't right. Finding myself in places I had no idea how I got there, buying things "I" didn't buy, and getting LOST of my goodness. In the process I developed an eating disorder and still struggle with that. I have 15 alters. A great therapist who I see twice a week for 2 hours. I was inpatient in 07' at the Womens Institute of Incorporation Therapy in south Florida. Run by a PhD who is DID and the program manager is DID. There were only 4 clients there for the 10 days, it was an awesome program. I learned co-consiousness and they work off of bringing all alters into a "dome" system which has been very helpful for me. I could jabber on and on.

The homework from Friday was to go into the 'theatre' each day and have one of my littles reframe a memory and change the ending to a "good" ending that they choose. They are much braver than me.... I tried to participated this weekend and just couldn't manage even watching the memory on the screen so I dissociated out of the activity. I know I need to process the memories but it is so difficult.

It would be wonderful to chat with both of you online. I recently moved to Maryland and have no support other than my hubby and therapist. I tried to start a meet up DID group as I had one in Florida but haven't had any takers here in Maryland yet this is like the DID capital as we have the International Dissociation group here that comes out with all research and training for therapists.

It is pretty isolating even with 15 others in my head.

Janet and insideones

HEy Janet and insideones,

So glad to hear from you. I always knew I was different as well, but tried so hard (and succeeded) to be like everyone
else. So learning that I am a multiple put everything together for me. I did have some other situations were an alter
came out before I was 39, but just blocked it out and was to scared to ask my doctor about it. With the few people I
have conversed with like us, we all kinda have similar story's. Its just so validating, isn't it!

That DID program you were in at the Womens Institute sounds great! Man, I wish we had one here. Did you know
here in Vancouver, bc, canada there is only one shrink who knows how to and works with people with MPD!!
I found that so shocking.

Please tell me more about what you learnt with co-consciousness there. That theatre work must be so hard to do.,
especially for the little ones. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to participate though, cause you'll do it, when
you are able to face it. You sound like you have done so much work already, you should be very proud of yourself
and the insiders! Take them out for icecream, or what ever they like! You all really deserve it!
You're all so brave I don't know if I could do the theatre exercise, it sounds so scary.
And your therapist sounds so wonderful, is so hard to find sometimes to find a good one.

Doing the chat on line sounds really cool, but I don't know how to do it. But I am sure my partner can show me how.

You can go to meetup group in vancouver, b.c. canada, I think I call it Multiple personality disorder. Have had a couple
of responses but know I am kind hesitant. Do you have any words of wisdom for me?

we have an eating disorder as well, and I am going to my first ever meetup support group for eating disoders tomorrow
nite!! Yueks!!! She's 9 years old, and very stubborn, but I am trying to work with her on this.

So good to hear from you and look forward to hearing from you again, soon!!

Take care of your self,

always,
june&gang